The Forgotten Past
by JustMe777
Summary: A little tale about how Susan rediscovers Narnia through an old friend. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1 Of Nightmares

Susan; The Forgotten Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia.

Chapter One

"_Fancy you still think about those funny games we used to play when we were children." I saw myself say to my sister. "Don't you think we're a bit too old for that now." _

"_Susan," Edmund said, his face turning white. "How could you say such a thing. You – You haven't actually forgotten?"_

"_No," I said calmly, "I haven't forgotten, it never happened. It was just a game we used to play, you don't actually believe in fairytales and such? Do you?"_

"_But, Susan," Peter said, with both anger and sadness in his voice. "You are a queen and you're just going to trade that away? I can't believe this."_

"_Oh! Don't be so childish! I'm going up to my room!"_

I woke up. Those were the last words I said to them. Lucy had looked like she was about to cry when I had said them. That dream has haunted me for the last seven years; since their deaths in a train accident. Part of me remembered the fantasies and longed to believe them. They had almost seemed real, we all had been gifted with such glorious imaginations. But that wasn't the way things were. There was a time to grow up from such fantasy anyway.

Here I am. I'm all alone now. I don't know why I visited this old house or why I was the one whose name was on the old Professor's will years ago; before the horrid accident. I remember he had started to think I was silly, with all the years of makeup and parties and, of course, boys. When I look back, it was foolish. Who did it help? No one, it only caused pain.

As I sit here, reflecting, just thinking at the kitchen table, something catches my eye. There's a golden box in the corner. It looks very beautiful. It's funny, in all the years I've lived here I've never noticed it. It is a strange house.

I walk to it and open the chest. There were many things in it. I noticed a little book which seems old and faded. I opened it and start to read:

_August 7th. _

_Have now been on ghastly boat for twenty four hours if it isn't a dream._

I stop to think for a second. The book was clearly in Eustace's hand writing. Was this a diary of his? Would this be an invasion of his privacy? I ignore my thoughts and continued.

_All the time a frightful storm has been raging (it's a good thing I'm not seasick)_

I stop. This was definitely written by Eustace; whenever he set foot on a boat he always puked for days later. His seasickness was so great that he had only set foot on a boat once when he was five, but never again, except, of course, for his great adventures in Narnia.

This was going no where, I skipped ahead a bit.

_September 11th. _

_Caught some fish and had them for dinner. Dropped anchor at about 7 p.m. in three fathoms of water in a bay of this mountainous island. That idiot Caspian wouldn't let us go ashore because it was getting dark and he was afraid of savages and beasts. Extra water rations tonight._

That was strange. Eustace knew Caspian as more than fantasy? Fancy he would write of a fantasy prince as an idiot? But whenever I had seen Eustace after he had supposedly been to Narnia, he'd always said such nice things about Caspian. I skipped to the end for further explanation.

_August 15th._

_It was a ghastly day today. Susan said it was foolish to believe in Narnia and Lucy couldn't stop crying because she was afraid for Susan. Poor Lucy. Edmund and Peter couldn't believe it and went for a very long walk. All of us cannot believe it. We are going to discuss it over dinner tonight at the Professor's house where the Professor and Aunt Polly will meet us. I suppose we shall have to tell them about Susan. _

Than his writing stopped and for a couple pages and then I found a scribbled note.

_We have seen a phantom… Possibly Narnian! We are going to attempt to find him! Aslan said that the next time we came to Narnia would be the time that we would stay! Me and Jill are going on the train to meet Peter and Edmund in five minutes! They have the rings to get to Narnia once more!_

This was too much and I was tired. I was going back to bed.


	2. Chapter 2 Dreams of Narnia

Disclaimer: I still don't own Narnia. I might use some passages from the books here and there, but I don't own Narnia. CS Lewis or some other dude does.

Chapter Two

I lay in bed for hours that night thinking. I tried to piece it all together. Was it all just a fantasy? If it was why couldn't they just see through it? Why did they have to believe? Why did they have to leave me alone.

And through all the pain I'm going through right now, one thought comes to my mind. _It was real and you know it was, Susan. Why are you angry at them for doing what's right? All you have is your folly and they are forever in Narnia._

I gave up on trying to sleep. I was too preoccupied to sleep. I remember people saying _'Once a King or Queen in Narnia, always a King or Queen in Narnia'_ But am I really a queen? I'm not even sure I deserve to set foot in Narnia again, much less rule it.

The memories of Narnia are slowly flowing back.

"The wardrobe." I whisper quietly to myself. "Maybe… maybe Narnia is still just beyond there." And for a second I feel I glimmer of hope and excitement as I wander up the stairs into a favorite room of my childhood because of the magical wardrobe within.

I swing open the doors and stand inside. I feel for the trees of the forest of Narnia. I don't feel them at all, just the hard wooden wall of the wardrobe. I was too old and the doorway is shut.

I walk down the stairs sadly and I walk into the kitchen. The sun is rising. Slowly, but surely.

I walked over to the fire and sat in the Professor's old chair as I drift into a deep sleep.

_I see everyone; Eustace, Jill, Aunt Polly, the Professor, Peter, Edmund, and Lucy! They were all dressed as beautifully as ever they were in Narnia if not hundreds of times better. They were all dressed in the lightest, most elegant shade of white you can imagine. They all had crowns that seemed to be mad of pure crystals and embellished with pearls with all the colors of the rainbow wrapped up inside._

_There was another person with them. The man's eyes shown like Caspian's, and but his hair was a very deep shade of brown. _

"_Sir," The man said humbly to Peter, "I have read the chronicles alright, there should be another. Has not your majesty two sisters? Where is Queen Susan."_

"_My sister, Susan," He said in a morose tone, "Is no longer a friend of Narnia."_

"_Yes," Eustace said, looking sadder than I had ever seen him. "And whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy you still think about those funny games we used to play when we were children'."_

"_Oh, Susan!" Jill said, "She's interested in nothing now except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She was always a jolly been a bit too keen on growing up."_

_Suddenly I started being pulled back, farther away from everyone. I tried to fight the strange force, but I couldn't. I couldn't scream, I couldn't even whisper if I wanted to. There was no way to make everyone even know I had heard them. That I had been with them if only for a few seconds. That I believed in Narnia again. That I was ready to accept the truth. _

_But I couldn't. It was too late to tell them. I was pulling away fast._

_Suddenly everything slowly faded into pure light and the head of a valiant lion was visible to me. I didn't need to be told. It was Aslan and I was ashamed of my past actions. How could I have said he was a fictional character when my imagination could not even imagine a figment of his glory._

"_Daughter of Eve." He said to me, "How have you forgotten Narnia?"_

Okay I know it wasn't too good of an ending for this chapter.

marinawings, kkfraggle11, Anorwen06, thanks for reviewing. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon..


	3. Chapter 3 Familiar Face

Disclaimer: I still don't and never will own Narnia

Chapter Three

I woke up hours later, after the fire had gone cold. I didn't feel like getting up and rekindling, so I sat in the old professor's chair under layers of warm blankets.

Narnia. It seemed forever gone from me. It was my fault, too. Because of my mistakes, because of my foolishness, I had forsaken Narnia.

I remembered what I saw Jill and the others say about me. They were right. I had been conceited. All that ran through my mind was the newest party, the newest crush, the newest fashions, and, in thinking of these things I forgot about Narnia.

I stared into the distance. Was it true what they said; once a queen in Narnia, always a queen in Narnia? Was there hope of redemption.

Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. I stood up to go and answer it. While walking to the door I wondered, who could be calling at this hour? I was expecting no one and all my friends had told me how I was no longer fun to be with.

I opened the door sadly. In the doorway was a man, only a little bit older than I, with dirty blond hair and the deepest blue eyes. If my "friends" had seen him they all would be flirting with him like crazy.

But as I saw him, I couldn't help wondering why he was here and why he looked so strangely familiar.

"Hello," The man said with an accent I couldn't identify, "Excuse me, it is my first time in this area. Could you direct me to a – a hotel. I'm very lost and my– my car broke down –"

"There are no hotels for miles around." I interrupted him, "This house is very big and it seems rather empty, sometimes. If you like you can stay until your car is fixed."

"Thank-you." The man said, softly. He was so sweet, so handsome, how could I possibly have met him and not remember. And, yet, there was a shy familiarness in his eyes.

"I'll show you to your room." I told him, "Follow me."

Okay, I know the chapter was shorter than usual and it took me a long time to update but I had a lot of schoolwork.

Kaisuke, eowyn, Cool Buttercup Llyana, marinawings, thanks for reviewing! I hope you enjoyed this last chapter.


	4. Chapter 4 Talk of the Wardrobe

Disclaimer: I still don't and never will own Narnia

Chapter Four 

"Here it is," I turned to look at him with a smile, "Oh, how rude of me! I forgot to ask your name!"

"My name is Caspian." The man said, "And you are?"

I hesitated. Caspian… no, it couldn't be. This man was older than the boy I known from Narnia and, anyways, how would Caspian come to this world. He was in Narnia with my brothers and sister and everybody. I was here alone.

"My name is Susan." I finally answered, "I'll leave you to get settled. You can go anywhere in the mansion you like. Most of the rooms are empty, but they're enchanting to look at. I'll, um, call you when breakfast is ready."

"Thank-you." Caspian said, before I walked away to the kitchen.

There could be another Caspian other than the one I had met in Narnia. It was an unusual name, but if there were no one with that name, who was the Caspian Sea named after?

I tried to convince myself it was a different Caspian. Years of not believing will do that to you, I guess.

I was confused. Was it possible that the dream of my family and friends in Narnia was something I dreamed about for sheer comfort? But what comfort did it give me. Only sadness of acknowledging what they thought of me. Maybe loneliness brought the dream on. But I wasn't sure.

Grief and pain clouded my vision; what had I become? What had I forgotten? This things roamed my mind as I started to make breakfast that morning.

"Breakfast is ready!" I called as I walked into Caspian's room. His room was empty. He must be exploring the mansion. I remember the first time I was here. We were playing hide and go seek and then Lucy went to Narnia… or at least she said she did. Was Narnia really real?

I walked up the stairway to the room with the wardrobe. How did I know he'd be there of all places? He looked up at me when I entered the room and greeted me with a smile.

"I knew you'd be up here," I told him. "On my first trip to this house as a child, we used to love this old wardrobe. It was the center of so many games. There was something about it. Something we couldn't just walk away from."

"What types of games did you play?" Caspian asked, curiously.

"Well, we used to say we went to this magical land called Narnia." I shook my head, bitterly. "It was so enchanting, I swear, we almost believed it was real. I don't know how, it was so farfetched. In 'Narnia'," I paused for a second, just long enough to see the glimmer in Caspian's eye disappear. "In Narnia, animals could talk. Not all animals could, mind you, just the good, peace-loving ones. There was a special animal, a lion, Aslan, I think his name was. This lion, Aslan, was the king and yet, we, my brothers and sister and me, were all royalty. Lucy and I were queens, and Edmund and Peter were kings." I shook my head. "As I said, it was crazy, how can four people all be the ruler of one land? It makes no sense!"

"Narnia is real." I heard him whisper, mournfully. "They were right. You are not the same."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," He said, shaking his head, "Nothing."

"Well, um, breakfast is ready." I said, "I made pancakes, so we might want to eat them before they get cold."

I had a day off school today so I had a lot of time to write. Marinawings and Greyhound Master thanks for reviewing. I hope you like the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5 Thoughts of Royalty

Disclaimer: I do not own Narnia.

**Greyhound Master –**I had another school day off! Grins happily but I wasn't able to write much because my friends were dragging **all** over everywhere! Thanks for reviewing.

Marinawings – Thanks for reviewing, too! I'm glad you enjoyed Caspian being the blue-eyed stranger. Morvana Du'Miruvor – Thanks for reviewing. I won't try to make a romance out of Caspian and Susan, that would be too… I'm not even going to go there. It's mainly just going to be Caspian and Susan being friends. I thought he'd be a good one for the story because he always looked up to the Kings and Queens of the olden days, even though they were some of his closest friends. Trust me, Caspian and Susan romance is so not this story. 

**Travis Franklin – **Glad you like the story! I'll try to update soon!

**Matt'sGirl4ever () **– Thanks for the review. And as for your question, all will be revealed in the next chapter.

Susan's POV

I thought I heard him say something about Narnia. Guess it was my imagination playing tricks on me. Oh, how I long for word of Narnia… if it was even real. I had probably been thinking and wishing about Narnia so hard, I had probably tried to make everything seem relevant. Make everything be one in the same.

He probably said something about how the wardrobe was perfectly enchanting or something of the like. It couldn't have been anything dreadfully important, because when I asked, he just said it was nothing.

_Nothing._ Was that all it was? Was that all it was to me now? This man. There was something strange about him, but how could I ask without feeling childish myself.

Maybe I am crazy or something of the like.

Caspian's POV

This was the queen. A lady I had looked up to all my childhood. She seemed a mere mockery of the tales and the legends I'd heard, and she had changed since I had been crowned king. I wondered what had gone wrong.

If left away from Narnia any longer than they had, would the other friends of Narnia have turned out like Susan? No, they wouldn't. They cared about Narnia too much. They wouldn't have forgotten.

I remember how Lucy used to envy Susan. I remember her being jealous of her looks and how behaving and looking as was expected of herself. She felt common and plain in Susan's shadow. But now I realize, she had been the truest, fairest lady of the two. There was no reason for jealousy in that competition.

I wished I had never come, but there never was much of a choice. Lucy, Edmund, Peter, and the rest had died in their world. They could not come back. It was better for this task to have been passed on to me than to them, anyways. It would break their hearts seeing her now, though it almost seemed like they had expected something to change in her sister. Had they seen her as she had chosen this path?


	6. Chapter 6 of Pancakes and Narnia

**Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia, if I did, I would go there daily.**

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Chapter Six

We both ate our breakfast in silence; everything had seemed so awkward since Caspian had found the wardrobe. Every once and a while, I'd look up from my meal to his face; he looked so very sad, like some great misfortune had fallen upon him. 

"Caspian?" I asked, quietly.

He looked up at me sadly. "Yes?"

"Well," I said slowly. "Um, would you like another pancake? You're almost done with the one you have now and I made so many it'll be a wonder if we ever finish them."

"No, thank you." Caspian answered.

I had not been planning to ask about pancakes. Pancakes are such a dull topic anyways. What I really had been thinking about was Narnia. I had almost convinced myself to ask him about it; but how would he know about the land I had lost? It was all imaginary, anyhow. He had never heard of it until he found my wardrobe.

"Caspian?" I asked again.

He looked up again; his face seemed sadder than before. "Yes?"

"Oh, um," I couldn't think of anything to say anymore. What could I say?

"Are you alright, Susan?" He asked.

"Oh, yes, I am… I'm fine."

"Oh, okay."

I stared down at my plate and concentrated on my food. I thought back to the first day I had eaten here, the morning before we had found Narnia. We had had pancakes then, too. Oh, Mrs. Macready made the best pancakes.

"Susan?" Caspian asked.

"Oh," I said, breaking my attention away from my pancakes. "Yes?"

"We need to talk… about Narnia."

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**I know, it's really short, but lately I've been really busy. I want to thank twigs4wrists, GAKDragonMCP, Zigs, TheDevilsDaughter2010, marinawings, Callista Miralni, Lady of the Silver Mist, Ghostwriter, Anorwen06, Gear's girl, Phantomfr33k24601, beyond the wardrobe, frank, Ghostwriter, Gatormage, imakeladry, Slytherin-iz-mine, Magic Crystal Rose, and steelelf.**

**Just so y'all know, I did type comments up for everybody's reviews and I'm very glad I get them, but I after I typed them all up I accidentally exited the program I was using for writing all this stuffand I lost all of the comments and stuff I had written. I would've rewritten them, but my family is getting very sick of me hogging the family computer so long. I'll try to write comments for the next chapter. **

**Oh, yeah, I just remembered, before I exited the program, I decided to start updating more often instead of once every few months like I've been doing lately. I'll try to post the next chapter as soon as I can. **

**Thanks everybody for reading and I hope you all liked the chapter. **


	7. Chapter 7 Different

**Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia, if I did, I would go there every day.**

**Hey, guys. I actually updated this story twice this week! Yay! I'm so excited! I usually don't update this often with anything I write! Maybe I can get another chapter up by next week. I hope you like this one. I don't like this chapter as much as some of the other ones. If you think I should rewrite it, I will. **

**Hope you like it anyways. **

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Chapter Seven 

"W-What?" I asked. Did he just say _Narnia_?

"Narnia. You pretend you've never been there, but you were a queen! You can't just act as if we're no more than a game!"

Susan stared at Caspian in shock, "You mean…" She paused and shook her head, "No, it can't be… It all was real. Narnia was real."

Caspian nodded, "I am sorry for the outburst, it was wrong of me."

"No, I've been awfully blind." Susan shook her head, "How could I not see?"

"I don't know." He whispered. "You didn't seem to want to. I know you found Eustace's old journal."

"That… That wasn't just my imagination?" I asked.

"Did you really think that you could create a world like Narnia on your own?"

"My parents always used to say I had an amazing imagination." I mumbled, "You can't say that when you were a child you never imagined fairytales were real. Everyone has to grow up at sometime or another and I did."

"The fairytales I heard as a child were not fairytales at all. You and the other kings and queens were my fairytales and I always believed in you."

"Don't you ever think that maybe I'm different than you or the other kings and queens? They look for adventure. They jump at the chance to get themselves all killed!"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted it, but it was true. I was different. I was always too scared to disagree. What would people think of me if I said no or didn't do this or that? After only saying what other people wanted me to, how could I believe the story that I was a Queen who shaped a nation?

"And what about you?" Caspian asked, "The journal was by your bedside table. How could you doubt after seeing it? Seems a lot like you jump at the chance to doubt. At least your siblings have the courage to stand for what they believe."

We resumed our silent breakfast, except now the pancakes were cold and rubbery and not very nice to eat. My face was stained with tears by now. Caspian didn't understand; he hadn't lived in this world long enough.

**I hope you all liked this next chapter. It doesn't really get her too much closer to Narnia, but it gets her to believe, and that's one step closer. **

**Greyhound Master – **Yep, it was the perfect ending. I love to put in evil cliffhangers, they're so much fun grins! Here's the next chapter. I really hope you like it.

**Asian Novelist – **I'm glad you like the story so far. I hope you like the next chapter!

**Azulcat – **After I read your review last night, I looked over the first chapter again. You're right, Susan should not have just gone back to bed, but she was tired and confused and probably thought that it was just a dream or something. If I have some extra time this week, I'll try to add more to the ending, but I might be kind of busy during the weekend. I'm having a sleepover with one of my best friends and a bunch of other stuff, so I don't know. Here's the next chapter I hope you like it.


	8. Chapter 8 Fantasy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia, I wish I did, though.**

**I'm sorry for not really sticking with my promise to update more often after the last chapter. I thought that since it was summer I'd have more time, but I didn't. Sorry. I actually think I'll be able to update more during the school year, I know, it's kind of sad, but,anyway, here's the next chapter.**

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I sat in my room, looking over some old stories I had written for school when I was younger. Nothing exciting ever happened in them. They all seemed so dull to me now. How could I have ever thought Narnia was just another story that I had made up? It was preposterous to think that I had thought up a world as amazing as Narnia. Was I ever that stupid? 

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in." I called. Caspian stepped in.

"I just thought you'd like to know that I'm leaving."

"Um, Caspian, I was wondering if we could talk about that. Don't you think it's a bit rash…"

"Not as rash as saying Narnia wasn't real." He snapped, "I can't believe you really gave it up! You were a queen, Susan! A queen! And you threw all of that away because it was 'only a childhood fantasy'! You think I'm just something you made up! That animals couldn't possibly talk! That there are no such things as centaurs and fauns and mermaids! But there are, Susan! They were some of your best friends and – and you can't even acknowledge their existence! How can you do that? How can you just forget?"

I was crying by now. "I guess it's just a part of this world."

"Then how come the other kings and queens believed? How come they never forgot?"

"Because…" I started feebly, "Because they were stronger! They never questioned anything! They never wondered if what they were doing wasn't safe! They never wondered about if they had gone insane! I was the only one and I was always looked down on for it!"

Caspian's expression changed, "They looked down on you?"

"Well, I was the cynical one." I sobbed, "No one wants to think that what they're doing could kill them! Everyone else thought we were strange for believing in Narnia! I had to choose my world and Narnia had closed it's doors to me. What was I supposed to do? Insist the world in the wardrobe was really real."

"I'm sorry, Susan." Caspian said, "I really am."

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**Cassiejennahermione - I'm really glad you liked it. I really hope you like the next chapter. **

**Valmarien - I'm really glad you like it. Here's the next chapter.**

**marinawings - Yep, she finally believes, she's still having some issues though. I hope your story alerts start working soon. Here's the next chapter.**

**Slytherin-iz-mine - I'm really glad you like it. I didn't put too much more action in this one, but next one, I'll try to put a bunch in. **

**iggleblop - I'm glad you liked it. Here the next chapter. **

**Well-wisher - I'm glad you like it. **

**Asian-Novelist - I'm glad you liked that conversation. It was really fun to write, too. There was another conversation a bit like it in this chapter too. I hope it's not getting old. **

**Greyhound Master - Thanks, sorry for not updating for so long. My summer's gone crazy.**

**Ghostwriter - I'm glad you liked it. Here's the next chapter. **

**Oh, yeah, and thanks to Becky, my annoying little sis, for getting on my back about working on this. I hope you like it. **


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